


Three Things Nate Made Parker Give Back When The Job Was Over (Because He's A Spoilsport)

by Penknife



Category: Leverage, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Odd (And Possibly Dangerous) People Parker Has Stolen From
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 01:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penknife/pseuds/Penknife
Summary: It's not even really stealing if you give the things back. Parker isn't sure why some people get so testy about it.





	Three Things Nate Made Parker Give Back When The Job Was Over (Because He's A Spoilsport)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Visardist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Visardist/gifts).

Breaking into Stark Tower would be more fun if Eliot weren't muttering strategies into her ear for what to do if she runs into each of the Avengers and Hardison weren't trying to persuade her to steal everything in sight. She thinks they're just annoyed that she's the only one who gets to go inside.

"Promise me you won't mix it up with Natasha Romanov," Eliot says. "If she shows up, we're blown."

"If you stole a whole set of Iron Man armor, it would probably have an arc reactor in it, right?" Hardison puts in.

"No," Eliot says. "Why would it have an arc reactor--"

"Because these latest schematics, and I am telling you that just looking at the schematics is a spiritual experience--"

"Will you shut up," Eliot growls over the com, "I'm trying to keep Parker out of trouble, I still have a great big scar from the time--"

"Both of you shut up," Parker hisses. "You're ruining this."

"Just get the arc reactor and get out," Nate says, cutting in over the com.

She tunes them out after that, except when she needs Hardison to help her get past some particularly technological security measure.

"Or a robot, you could steal a robot," Hardison says.

"I see some robots," Parker says. She's now hanging from the ceiling of Stark's lab. Hardison promises that the security cameras still show an empty room, and she isn't being shot by lasers right now, so he's probably right.

"Parker, do not steal a robot," Nate says, and he sounds like he means it. "When Stark notices an arc reactor is missing, he's probably coming after us, and we do not want to make it personal."

"This isn't personal?" Hardison says, sounding skeptical. Parker is descending upside down, twisting to avoid the motion detectors. She extends one leg in a careful stretch to counterbalance as she reaches down toward the lab bench.

"It's not as personal. Stealing the robot Stark built when he was a teenager? That's the kind of personal that gets people killed."

"I'm not going to kidnap his pet robot," Parker says. Her fingers close around the device sitting on the lab bench, and she tucks it in a sack at her belt before inverting herself gracefully and ascending the rope. "I'm on my way out."

"Just one Iron Man suit, Parker, for me," Hardison says. "You could fly it out of there."

"No, Parker," Nate and Sophie say in unison.

"Can't you build one?" Parker asks.

"Sure I could," Hardison says. "But it wouldn't be the same."

"You could not," Eliot says.

"With an arc reactor I could."

"We are not keeping the arc reactor," Nate says, and they argue about that while Parker makes her way back out the window and lingers there for a long and appreciative moment; the lights of New York City are very bright below.

*****

"So let me get this straight," Stephen Strange says. "You're claiming that you broke into the Sanctum to borrow a book?"

"I told you that already," Parker says. She's hanging upside down, unable to move except to breathe and talk, probably as a result of the weird mystic circle of runes that's now glowing on the floor underneath her. It's really not fair to have completely invisible weird mystic runes that only appear when you find the one place on the floor that appears to be free of security devices where you can put your feet. She can't hear anything through her earbud, but she hopes the team can still hear her.

Sophie and Eliot both say it's important not to let someone who's holding you prisoner think that they've got the upper hand, so she tries to look relaxed and not like she'd like to kick this smug-looking man in the head.

"This book," Strange says, picking up the book she was there to steal.

"We were going to put it back."

"After you'd summoned abominations from another dimension, I assume."

"No," Parker says. "Who does that?"

"You'd be surprised." Strange paces, his cloak swirling in ways that make it look alive. Maybe it is alive. A corner of the cloak twitches upward, as if it's giving her a thumbs-up. She makes a face at it, and then tells herself not to get distracted.

"We needed it as bait," Parker says. "There's this man who runs a fake cult. He tells people that he can make bargains with demons to cure their dying grandmothers or whatever, and then he takes all their money. We need the book so we can pretend we're going to sell it to him so that he'll give us lots of money that we can give back to the people he swindled with the fake cult."

Strange considers Parker while she struggles to move her toes. "Did you ever consider just asking to borrow the book?"

"No," Parker says. "Who does that?"

Strange gestures, and she's right-side up again. "All right, let's talk."

The cloak now appears to be giving her two thumbs up. She's never stolen somebody's magically-animated article of clothing before, but she's at least a little bit tempted to try.

*****

"I think you have something that belongs to me," Captain America says, and Parker finds it strangely hard to figure out what to do with her hands and feet, because Stark is just a very smart very rich person with very good technology, and Strange is some kind of arrogant wizard, but this is _Captain America_, and it's sort of like having Santa Claus disappointed in you.

"Actually, what we have is a vibranium shield from an alternate universe," Nate says. He sounds calm, but then Nate would probably sound calm if they really had stolen from Santa Claus.

"Which was not easy to get, let me tell you," Hardison says, caressing the thing lovingly. "I had to basically invent a method for dimensional travel, and then we had to find a way to power it, and then Parker had to actually go into another dimension to get this thing here."

"It was weird," Parker says. "A lot like here, but no one had ever heard of shrimp."

"How did shrimp even come up?" Sophie asks over the com.

"Never mind the shrimp," Nate says. "Captain Rogers -- it is Captain Rogers, isn't it?"

"I think right now it's Captain America," Captain America says.

"That's fair. This is not, in fact, your property."

"It's still stolen, though. You're not going to deny that, are you?"

"You do not have interdimensional jurisdiction," Hardison says. "I would need to see, like, an interdimensional crime force warrant before I could even let you look at this."

"There isn't an interdimensional crime force," Captain America says.

"You want to bet? We have badges and everything. It worked like a dream when we ran into those weird gentlemen with the tentacles, who, I am telling you, are definitely guilty of something--"

"You know I can't let you keep this, right?" Captain America interrupts.

Nate turns up his hands. "What I know is that if you hear us out, you'll understand why we needed it."

"It involves actual interdimensional crimes," Parker says. "And helping a lot of people. And we're going to put it back."

"Maybe even before we stole it, if this all works right," Hardison says.

Captain America looks like he doesn't appreciate Hardison's efforts to make interdimensionally stealing and returning things work perfectly. "I've heard of you people," he says. "Why do you never just ask permission?"

"Parker, tell him that of course we'd be happy to discuss the possibility of working together," Sophie says over the com.

"I don't think working together is really an option," Nate says.

"Maybe we should work together," Parker says.

Nate shoots her a sharp look, but carries on smoothly, "At least, it's not an option until we know we can trust you."

"He's Captain America," Parker says, appalled.

"Parker," Sophie says hopelessly over the com.

"I definitely don't trust you," Captain America says.

"I'm hurt," Hardison says. "I think we have very trustworthy faces."

"But maybe we have common goals here."

"Hardison wants your autograph," Parker says in a rush.

"I want his …" Hardison says, and then gives her a sideways look. "I mean, yes, I want your autograph. I'm a huge Captain America fan."

"You're wearing a Stark Industries T-shirt," Captain America points out with a certain skepticism.

"It's a souvenir," Hardison says. "We took the tour. Did you know they charge five dollars for bottled water in that gift shop? I mean, you'd think a man with that much cash to burn …"

"Can we focus here, please?" Nate says. He shakes his head and looks at Captain America like he's inviting him to share a private joke. "That's always the hard part with a team, right? Getting everyone onto the same page."

"Tell me about it," Captain America says, and Parker knows that’s the moment when Nate has him. He's found the way they're alike, and now he'll know what to say. She hopes one day she'll be that good at finding the keys to people.

"I still think you should have snagged an Iron Man suit while you were in that other dimension," Hardison mutters, and she shrugs.

"I could go back and get one."

"Parker, Hardison … Interdimensional travel is not an appropriate way to get a souvenir," Sophie says in her ear. There's a pause. "Besides, just assuming that we were going to do that, why think small? We could steal our own spaceship."

There must be a lot of people who need their particular kind of help in space, Parker thinks. Maybe she'll wait until Captain America is gone before she brings that up. She doesn't think he'd necessarily approve.

"I'm going to need you to hand over the machine you used for interdimensional travel, though," Captain America is saying, and Nate is promising that yes, of course, he will, because Hardison can always build them another one. It'll make Captain America feel better to think that they've promised to be good.

"You can trust us," Nate says, and in a lot of ways that is entirely not true, but Parker thinks it's true in the ways that really matter, anyway. 


End file.
